A Victorian phoenix

And everyone has their own problems... and we have our own ways to solve it.

We can't always be there, though we try to be. If we think carefully, everyone else have the same problems as us. This reminds me of Leon who said that everyone thinks their problem is the only one in the way, though in fact, it is something we have all heard before...

Sianz. My CAP sucked this semester thanks to Democratic, German and Mathematical Ideas. I got such low grades for Demo that I am very surprised. I expected one grade higher and I got such a shitty grade. Thank God my core modules were ok. There goes first class honours. Sometimes.. I just want to give up everything.

After all, the ground is pretty far from where I am. I heard you would die before you hit the ground. When you hit the ground, the skull splits and your brains fall out. Funny. I would have liked to see my brain. It will most probably be the size of a quark and hence, invisible to the naked eye.

I am so depressed but I have a lot of things to worry about that I don't have the time. But when I sit down, I think of a wasted life, a body destroyed... I just feel that living on the 23 floor is good.

But then even if my Life is not worth living for, Russell is worth living for... and also DOTA. I want to continue living for Russell and make him proud of me. I want him to feel that yes, he is really the one worth living for. I don't want to live for myself.

Because Victoria has to die first to be reborn.

F* the army, my CAP score, German, Demo, Mathematical ideas, the Profs, my stupidity and lastly my hearing loss from YFC. F*

[and this is the last time I will mention it. Victoria has to die]