I'm sorry

There are times in your life when you know you are wrong. And no matter how long you try to argue your way out, you know you have accused someone wrongly.

I am sorry to have accused my boyfriend Russell of something he has not done. To vent my frustrations on being disillusioned with his seemingly loss of ambition and dreams, I realised I spoke too soon. As Junwen says I'm very blunt... I guess I just told him what i felt. He doesn't usually talk about all these things... and when we do, it because I complain. But then he justifies himself and I know them to be valid.

I know them to be the idealistic visions of the old days.

It only cause, Russell... I thought I lost you. I thought you were someone that I might not have fallen in love with. I thought you have lost your dreams to NS... I thought you did not care about your ideals.

And I am sorry for having doubted you... I am sorry that I couldn even say such stuff but I guess its cos we don't talk about these stuff. Maybe cos you rather your actions do all the talking. And I might just be very poor in reading actions.

But I know you love me... that your Love is one thing that has no wavered from the first day you confessed your feelings to me. This love might be something I can never explain... nor even hope to understand, but I feel it. In every fibre of your body. In every look you give. In every touch you give. In every word you say.

I'm just sorry baby that I'm not so perfect. I know you believe I'm perfect for you. I wish... I could just hold you now and tell you how much I love you. That I long to embrace you. To cover your eyes with kisses and to hold you close to me. I know I'm not that good as you but you believe I can match you in ways...

I just want you to know that I don't mind you being a teacher. I will support you. I only thought I had lost the Russell I love... =) Glad to know I didn't.

Sad to know you have grown older and supposedly matured. I guess its a good thing that you have become more sensible (like me...) but I think I might have caused some of your dreams... your lofty ambitions to die. =( Sigh... I'm so sorry. I know you have taught me a lot... like not to take things so seriously etc...

Darling I really cannot do without you... I need you in my life to make everything bright and right. I want you to know I love you and I wish I can do so much more for you and make you happy. I don't want to hit you.. but I do it every time. Why can't I just extend all my love to you every minute of the day?

Everyone or at least people I know... say that we are a model couple. =D you say you don't want to say... in case you get complacent and then slack in maintaining this r/s. Dear... why do you always make sense? I promise to do my best...

AND THANKS LYNNETTE FOR BUYING ME SNACKS...

called Viktoria. Haha... and they wrote We love in marker pen. But to top it off... the expiry date is my birthday.

Russell. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Being in a r/s needs work. I'm willing to work for it.