2 days!

Alexandria wants me to write in perfect English. You know the ones spoken by the cosmopolitans and not punctuated by heartlander talk like the some say lor some say lah from the now-made-famous-by-Lynnette essay on SARS: The virus we all want to minus?

But anyway, try as I might, I think I might have suffered dire consequences in the education system I went through *cough*A*cough*J. So while I try to please this deviant(hearlander)/ conformist(govt) streak of my sister, please forgive my waywardness or any awkward expressions found in this entry as I try to stimulate my rustic brain. And no! Not with any fiscal or monetary policy as you might so be thinking.

As you all can rightly deduce, Victoria has definitely had too much Econs to drink but anything is better than kahluas or baileys nowadays! ^^\/ but I do like kahlua and coke as it gives me the nostalgia for Sarsi. But that is another random thought and I deviate. (How is this entry going? I am finding it VERY tedious) But I was having a little banter with Junwen since this morning. I asked that if we weren't socialized, would we still fall in love?

Junwen believes that romance would be more spontaneous like you wouldn't buy her flowers because you are supposed to but because you want to. I said he still believes that there is still a special someone out there even if you were socialised not to believe that. Well, he said that I(me) think love is tangible that I cannot believe that just like romance, it can be magical. I guess what I am trying to say is I am afraid to believe in love? I wish to know that love can be eternal, everlasting, desirable and unchanging. But that sounds suspiciously like the dichotomy of male and female, hence, I can be rather touchy over that issue. Just as I try to become less adverse to my prejudice against age-gender, I try to be neutral about all social concepts. The only problem I have is that is Love a social concept?

Is Love commercialised until you believe in the fairytale ending? Or am I just being too pessimistic? But what divides Love from Gender then? Isn't doing gender a feeling too that you can't describe? Like why its a boys thing to burp and make rude noises and a girls thing to bitch about people? So isn't Love like that because you can't describe why you feel so estatic and euphoric when you get accepted to a date? (Junwen says I should go read his blog about all these but I am having trouble accessing it =/) But Love ain't easy and don't you think the expectations of Love also stem from gender issues like the conflict theory on power. Who does hold the power in a relationship? Is it true that to compromise one must let the partner make the decisions because it is stated in the religion that the husband is the head of the house? See.. there are links to the religion aspect and what more other links to other social concepts? Do we fall in love due to certain policies of the government? Like perhaps having mixed schools? (Not that this might be the real reason...)

Yet, why am I making excuses about Love? Am I feeling guilty? I don't think so but I am fascinated by this concept of Love. I mean I once was on the roller coaster of emotions, bounding up and down. Now, I still am although it has stabilized. So Love does have to stabilize at one point and can never be a neverending revolution like how Mao felt communism should be, or a business cycle anyway.

I would like to say more but I have an econs exam tomorrow and I have an onset of headaches. =( A rather depressing end to this day that was capitulated with a phone call from Russell. Yes, I love him. Haha, he was telling me a funny story on how he cut his leg very very badly because he wanted to protect his manhood. I found it absolutely hilarious just like the time my sister fell on her knees because she didn't want to wreck the stained glass project she spent hours doing. We do things to our body, don't we? I miss him. Lucky its only two days and yet, a day can be an eternity. But when he is back, what has changed?